May 2, 2011
POLITICAL CHAT ROOM A/S/L EDITION



THE WEEKLY NO: POLITICAL CHAT ROOM A/S/L EDITION
 

TABLE OF CONTENTS:PEEPAW ALL DAY LONGWHERE DID PEEPAW GOALL THE LIVELONG DAY II


ALL THE GRANDPAS IN THE WORLD ARE MAD
by dey Grandbabes
 
Hello idiots of God. We’ve decided to interview our Grandpa Peepaw to see what he had to say about the recent death of all the Ewoks in Alfanistan.  
Weekly No: Hi Peepaw! What you say about all the ‘nnouncements regarding all the shootings that happened in the mansion-house in Iraq?
 
PeePaw: Let me stop you right there.  First of all, there is no such thing as a real announcement.  All announcements are pre-pre-pre-taped in order for the announcements to sound real.  It’s a matter of knowing the TRUTH. You can find the truth, by the way, on the internet, anywhere you choose to look. Just type in google on your webpage. Then hit return. Sometimes you have to redial to get it connected. Do you know where Willy dog is?  Also, make sure to wash your mouse in the sink.  Hair gets in the mouse and mouse pad. JANE! Where’s your grandmother? SHE LEFT THE FRONT DOOR OPEN, GODDAMMIT.
 
Weekly No:  Peepaw, you have some good points, but getting back to the original questions, what do you think about all the hub-bub about the newsy?  You know the one!  The one about the man and the shoot out and the tornadoes.
 
PeePaw:  I’ll tell you one thing, don’t ever leave the house without a baseball bat in your car.  Louisville Slugger.  Then, when a boy asks you on a date, you beat him until he is dead all the way.
 
Weekly Nope: That concludes our Peepaw’s dispatch from his porchswing. Old Peepaw needs to go yell at the radio now.

Newest Section!

The laws and regulations for having a regular time with your friends and co-workers

 
Have you ever been confused during your ride to work cuz the radio and the people in your car keep talkin’ bout “current events” or whatevers?  We have some tips for all of your boring rides.
 
1.  Tip number first:  Always let the talky birds talk first and loudest.  They want you to know that they have something real good to say.  Let them have a speaking time that goes on for 5 minutes so they can get all their words out.  Boy, sometimes they have too much talks because they use words and not your noises that you are used to.  Visit your local library for more information.

2.  Tip 2nd:  Bring eggs, uncooked in a ziplock. Then just spill it on the dash and then tuck and roll out of the car.

3. Once upon a time in ninety four

4.



Cleveland: A Computer Essay
by Lawson’s Bananas

SUP CLEVELANNNNND! USA USA USA USA USA USA!

Cleveland is doing great these days!  Did you hear about the restaurant, Melt?  They serve cheese and breads!  Did you also hear about the movie that is called Major Leagues Three??  That will be filmed in Ashtabula.  What else…whhhhaaattt eellllssseee……..What’s up with new stop signs!  I can’t believe they are brown now.  I guess that’s what you get when you cut the budgets!  BROWNS TOWNS.


 Q&A with Peepaw’s Whonancy

Question:  Dear Peepaws, tell me the truth about one thing:  Is making soup just a matter of putting tin cans full of beans onto a paper towel and the draining the oils to make broth?

PeePaw:  THE BEST WAY TO MAKE CHICKEN SOUP IS AS FOLLOWED:  1st you get a carcass and boil the blood out of it.  Scrape the bottom. SAVE THE BLOOD IN A BABY FOOD JAR AND put the jar in the garage.  I have a hundred jars of screws and nails in the garage.  Your grandma throws them out.  Then the next step is to buy a bag of carrots that are old and a bag of potato flakes.  Thicken the flakes with the blood and when you dice the onion make sure to save the skin.  Put it in a bird feeder.  BILLY!!!!!!!  

Qustion: sssssssso it’s time to say goodbye, fat baby brains!  

Peepaw:  Peppers






NEWEST Word Game
Ever hear about online Ipad word game?  Games with friends is iphone fun.  Here’s a new one.  It’s called Word Berds.  

How to play:
One friend writes a word down:  Example: BOON
Another friend writes a word down:  Example: HORYE
Then you guess which word dies.  Then each person picks the death word and you both decide where to plant the word.  
Example:  BOON HORYE DDDDDDDDD  (THOSE ARE PLANTS)
Throw your “vowel shooter” near the biggest plant.  That will show your enemy
where you must toss your next coin. Then say the word, “Raaaankdotchsowl” and hangup the phone. Each person must then call 1-855-443-2552 and follow the prompt to continue to register.  Each new register will require a unique IP address and password.  Please keep track of all passwords in your queue. Then tune into WNIR for more information.


Now it’s time for you to end reading. Never say that word again. BYEBEYEBebebebeyebeyebeybeyeebBYEBYE SUCKS

11:43am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09Sy4oCzFW
(Notes: 2)
  
January 12, 2011

1/11/11  THE WEEKLY NO  issue 6? 

We take no for an answer.

Archives:

 http://bighunkheatlamps.tumblr.com/

 
by Michaelanne and Angela peterllalalal Patrella Perella


Weekly No is here!  Sorry, we’ve been busy on our high horses, riding on all the cattle and eatin’ all those hoss flakes. So suck in your lady fat because this Weekly No reunion is just as plump as your real life high school reunion but with much less Hep C inside your friends!
 

LE INTERVIEWZ

THIS IS THE MOST SENSITIVE SECTION EVER. WE ARE INTERVIEWING THE PROUD CLEVELAND BROWNZ AND SOME BRIDES THAT WE FOUND AT THE LOCAL BRIDERY.
 
 
Hey The Browns, why do you guys play dropsy with the ball so much?
 
BROWNS: We have a solid team effort that have a good effort with solid dropsy schedule.

At a bridal show, why my feet stank of rosies?

BRIDES: Because your shoes were made at the Rosie Perez bridal booth.  Her fashion line is called “Brooklyn in the front, Texas in the back.”

Is it true that all of brides and women have roid rage just natural-like in they bodies?

BROWNS AND BRIDES: Real natural.

Is there a birthing booth at this bridal show?  What kind of natural births are there?  

BRIDES: There is the PUSH UP POP style, where you squish all the innards out with a rolling pin.  There is also the SQUEEZE IT BOTTLE, where you squeeze til the death happens.  
There is the ALLEY OOPS when you just have a surrogate push it out somewhere out of view.

Do you ever use your mesh Brown’s jersey to strain pasta noodles?

No. Our jerseys are just for ricing and water draining.

Do you ever get sweat bubbles caught under your fleshy skin flakes? 

BRIDES AND BROWNS: We only get lots of spray glue hair lines and the swimmy ear.

Where all my single ladies! Good, now step aside because here come the brides. Do brides always hulk out or just when they are drunk in public and paying for things?

BRIDES:  Yes’m.

WEBBING DAY: LET’S LOOK GOOD, BRIDES!

Here’s a typical regime for a bridal pumping-arm festival:


EARLY MORN: Wake up, grow a single hair out of your top lip, rip it out with the strength of ten thousand apes.  

EARLY MORN’S AFTERNOON: Then, line up at the door of a bridal show angrily and ask when the door will be open for the bridal show.  Have your water bottle that is huge and full of vodka and baby carrots.  Remember: racism works great for discounts. Insult the browns.  No, not the team the Browns! We are meaning to say the immigrants.

THE EDITOR’S MUSICAL GRANDMMY’S Picks

Now let’s talk about upcoming Grandmother Awards picks.  

Michaelanne and Angela will talk about their favorite sangers.


Michaelanne: Okay.
Angela: Obviously, we pick the Cleveland Browns. The END.
Michaelanne: Obviously, they are a top pick. but mostly I think they don’t have a chance against The Brown Keys.  Secondly, and mostly, the best grammy award goes to mariah carey’s unbornt pup.
Angela:  To recap, browns gonna win it, even if they are only nominated for best good football touches. 

USER FRIENDLY JOBBYS: PUBLICIST

This section is all about the world of being a publicist and event publisher and internet blog event webinar and also conference caller. Many people ask us to explain a publicist’s job in 40 seconds or less while they are walking away. HERE IS YOUR HANDIEST OF GUIDES.


The first thing on a publicist’s plate is to make all her reporters request a restraining order!  

The second item of biznass is to make sure that no one has heard of the event except for the people that are already going.  

The third job is to sit at a booth on a laptop checking craigslist for a job. 

Fourth is checking Groupon. 

Fifth is checking email. 

Sixth is sitting. 

Seventh is answering questions like:

“WHY THIS BRIDES ONLY COUPON NOT SPECIAL ON YOUR WEB’S SITE?” 

“CAN’T BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE HERE ARE COMPLETE HOME-SEXUALS. THIS IS BRIDAL SHOW, NOT GAYS IN THE MILITARY-R-US.”  *
*DADT

Also, as a publicist, you want to be sure to work with as many old women, as possible. Steal they vicodins.


Behind the PROCESS!  

DVD extra interview eavesdropping on the Weekly No editors:


Angela:  also let’s do a thing called learn html
Michaelanne: learnt it
Angela: then code it out in the email
Michaelanne: you want like clickable links or something or just have it look like colors and shapes or both.  Or I know!  Let’s have every sentence be a clickable link just kiddding i fell asleep thinking about doing that.  does your work have burritos. save me one.  did your water break?  why is the floor covered in water.
Angela: It’s cucumber water from when I peed it.

TIL NEXT TIME, SWEET WIPES!


3:26pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09Sy2Y7hxX
June 20, 2010

1:56pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyguZat
May 18, 2010

4:07pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyaRuzU
April 2, 2010
Watching Cops #1

Two Russian (?) old men are bloody and shirtless.

First Russian’s Statement: You know, i was talking, he was sleeping and she jump in my throat, i have marks into the arms, he was sleeping and he says you shut up and i say i keep talking and i was ten feet and he jump on me and i defend myself and i was talking by myself. (He hit his friend that he lives with in a shitty hotel with a giant lamp)

Cop: So you split his grape?

6:53pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyTLpPQ
January 5, 2010

11:44am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyI_uyq
(Notes: 1)
  
January 5, 2010
The Weekly No (Issue Two)

Weekly No

ENTERTAINMENT BUZZ!


Hollywood’s Stylez

By Angela 

2010 is all about the sweatpant.  Specially the one that shows off your inner thighwads.  Tight pant is a good way to have saucy stylez.  The end.


Weektime Hollywood: An Review of “Hollywood’s Stylez” Article
By Mikianne
Inward under thighs tthhhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb


(DVD Commentary Transcript of Behind the Scenes Making of Weekly Style Articles)
Angela: Ok I gotta go dig around in some trash to find a used granola bar.
Mikianne:  Let’s talk about baby names since so many people I know keep telling me that they are fake pregnant.
Angela: I couldn’t find a granola bar.  Stressful. I wanted one so bad!
Mikianne: Order one from the internets
Angela: Weekly No gets another section called Baby Names.


Baby Names!

First baby name is Crusta
Second baby name is Pressa
Third baby name is Tuffles
Four baby name is Spicy
Fifth baby name is Too Spicy (middle name only)
Sixth baby name is Ergust
Seventh baby name is Secretia
Eight ber ber name is Nefftyhurp
Nine baby is Nefffftyburgs
Ten Ten is Neffyhump
Nerpus


10Things You Don’t Need To Buy Me Cause I Already Got Them For Christmas
By Mikianne

First of foremost, I received three different types of cookies.  Each with a certain amount of peanut butter, chocolate, red frostings, green frosties, purpie frosty, and at least one off-brand candied chocochip on each single cookie. Secondly, I got a bird shaped holding-basket and some walnut sorters.  Goodnight.



Your Concerned Letters of Praise
First of all, thanks to our readers for all of your encouraging emails in response to our first ever weekly-esque newstainment magazette.  We’d like to address several questions that some of our fans have. (The questions have been ranked using an emoticon scale.)


1.  Is this free? :O :o
Of course not!   We have already obtained the necessary pay pal information from your accounts to legally extract 1% on each pending transaction. 

2.  When is your Birthdays?  We would like to send even more money. >:o
Yes you will.  My birthday is Twenty Naught Naught Wednesday.

3.  I don’t understand which of you is talking ever.
That is because you have syndromes. >OP :;)) )::DDDD

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS WEEK’S EDITION!  -MIKIANNE AND ANGELA 

11:37am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyI_tGZ
January 5, 2010
The Weekly No (Issue One)

The Weekly No
Interviews from Sister Big and Sister Baby
by Mikianne and Angela 

Good Evening! It’s Monday morning on the month of Saturday. Time to get a dose! This is the Weekly No.
We have already stolen four seconds of your life (unless your spam filter is set to suck it) A is for Believe it, asshat! so KEEP ON READIN! A curious look at two very ugly hearts. One won’t be too unamazed. Suck on this wiss:

OUR READERS ASK US THE BEST DAMN QUESSIONS!

Question: What’s the best way to lose weight in just your armpit area?

Mikianne: There are things that you can do. First you can get excited about something and it’ll cause your arm pits to swell. Then just acknowledge it and lift it. It’ll work itself out.

Question: Name your current boyfriends attributes but don’t say his name. Then I will guess which one it is! Just kidding!
Angela: Is it hot in here or is it just my imaginary boyfriend that I downloaded off napster

Question: How do you abbreviate the word Snagglepuss

Mikianne:Snugbus   Sngbuster

Angela: Oh! I get it, Snuggie Vision.

Question: What is good thing to do when you are bored?

Angela: I am not afflicted by boredom because I am constantly playing air piano.

Question: Your name is Mikianne. Please change it to either Michael or Anne.

Mikianne: Hm, good question. Most people think my name is Michelle but they are wrong. It is actually Mitchell’s Anne’s Pet Poptressa



RECIPE TIMMMMMMMMMER!
How to make food for you and your assle-tassles

“Molten Dressing”

Mikianne: one jar of butter, one cup of eggsour. the end  
Good. Now onto the next recipe

“Bird Feed Sammies”
Mikianne: Take two peanuts and shaved peanuts into a pile.
Oh! Here’s a recipe called Burrie Flurd   One Flurrie from Dairy Queens with one goop of bird feed sammies

 That sounds like hog slop

NEXT RESIPE:


“OLIVES”

One batch of refined sun dried olives. Put it on a soup

No, that’s the recipe for Chocoholic, oh FUCKLING! What else do you need for taste flavor?
One mom plus one spencer gift tshirt 

FOOTNOPE:
To make a fine batch of Olives, breathe air into the finest bag and then call your pharmacist and order cocaine.
then kick the air.  



Thanks for reading the Weekly No. If you don’t like it, write us and tell us why. And then we’ll use cuss swears to
teach you a learning lesson. Peace out, divaz!

Angela and Mikianne

11:33am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyI_sCG
December 21, 2009
TRIBAL

TRIBAL

10:14pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyHZrbU
December 21, 2009
SUCKING ON A CANDLE

me:  uhm also remember CANDLELIGHT PARTIESand JENNIFER FROELICH

mikianne:  party light dunk asshayes

10:07pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z-09SyHZo-k